Forming, Flossing, and Fasting

Forming

Today I went on my spring semester Spiritual Formation Retreat, and it was amazing. It was from 9-4, and I expected to want to take a nap when I got home, but I was so energized that I ate a snack and got to writing this blog entry :-P  

  

The retreat was about spiritual discernment, and it was led by Sister Joanna, who is quite possibly the coolest sister ever!! We talked about how we make decisions, and how God is acting in our decisions. One thing I particularly liked was when Sister Joanna told us that of course the decision we make matters, but it doesn’t matter as much as how God shapes us through the process of discerning. We talked about how our choices embody our values; how spiritual discernment may not always be practical or logical; how discerning is an act of faith that God is at work in my life and that God loves me. She emphasized how the head and heart are involved in discerning.

I really liked how the stress was on how we make decisions with God, as a collaboration. It was never implied that God is forcing us into any specific path, but that we’re working together toward living a more holy life.  I resonated with her incarnation analogy- God cares about humanity and where we are right now. Everything is rooted in reality; God is personal; take myself as I am and not who I dream of being (a big one for me…); taking others as they are; accepting the here and now with all the ambiguity. Being able to be in the moment. She called this part “holiness lived out incarnationally,” and I just really liked it. I want to get to know Sister Joanna a lot better.

Lastly, two quotes from the handouts that I really like:
 

“Perhaps music and dance, then, offer an illuminating image of what it means to ‘discern God’s will’. We hear the Spirit’s music in creation, in our own gifts, in life as it unfolds in us and in the world around us, and in the word of God. God’s gracious invitation is that we dance to that music.” From Dance to the Music of the Spirit by Fr. David Lonsdale

“Mourn the possibilities you ignored as well as the opportunities you missed. Your life is a path of letting go and dying. If you accept life to be this way, you will be able to commit to relationships more easily and become more content.” From The Art of Discernment by Stefan Kiechle.

Flossing

I woke up one morning this week with a bad taste in my mouth and a depressing thought weighing on my heart. I dismissed the depressing thought, knowing it would take a while for that to go away, and thought about why I had the bad taste in my mouth even though I brush my teeth every night. As I looked down at the sink I saw it. Floss. 

I haven’t been flossing. Like any habit, it’s hard to get back into once you’ve stopped. But for me, flossing is especially hard when I haven’t done it in a while. Flossing hurts; it’s painful. My mouth may bleed. It’s very uncomfortable and I may wince; I could possibly tear up if I floss too hard. Blood mixes with saliva and it is just all-around unpleasant. 

 

But my gums heal. Not only do they heal, but they get healthy. It’s hard to have a healthy mouth without flossing- I can’t have the pearly whites without suffering a little bit of pain. I’ll feel better in the long run if I just get over the fear of the pain. 

[slight change in metaphor] Once I do floss, I have to endure the pain for a bit as my gums get stronger. Most importantly, I can’t stop flossing and let me gums weaken. I may want to avoid it to avoid the blood, but eventually my gums won’t bleed anymore. What used to be painful won’t hurt anymore.

 
Sometimes, hard conversations (oops, I mean flossing…) need to happen. They may hurt, but in the long run, everything will be happy and healthy. Needless to say, I started flossing again this week, and although my teeth can still be sore, it was the best thing that could have happened, and I’m showing off my pearly whites a lot more now!

Fasting

So Lent starts next week! I’m actually looking forward to my Lenten disciplines, even though I know they will be difficult. 

For my food fast, I will be doing the same thing I did last year- going Vegan. This means no meat, egg, or dairy products. I’m predicting I will miss chicken the most, since that was the hardest thing last year. Other than that, I think it will be ok. I’m looking forward to being more creative in my cooking and baking. It will also be hard whenever I go out to eat or eat and friends’ houses. But I’m hoping since a lot of my friends are also observing various fasts that they will be supportive of me.

 
I will also be giving up Facebook. Facebook is my main source of procrastination (especially when I’m writing a paper on my computer). Since all of my homework is an attempt to learn more about God, Facebook is quite literally keeping me from fully embracing God. Funny how that happens. Although I know that I will probably miss out on some social goings-on that would be nice to know about, I think for this time it will be nice to not have the distraction. I will still be updating this blog though, so if you primarily follow it when I post the link on my wall, you should just add your email address to the little box up top there so you don't miss out on anything! :-)

I also want to continue to be very intentional about learning Spanish for my upcoming mission trip this summer! I might even try reading the daily lectionary in Spanish (which could be an epic fail, but at least I will try!)

Jukeboxing

I did a LOT of Hebrew studying this week because I had a big exam on Friday (that I think I beasted! Yay!), and while I studied I listened to the Maccabeats- because really, what else would I listen to? hehe. Here is one of my favorite covers. 

Peace, Love & Lots and Lots of Smiles, 

Christa